| ||||
FathersMy father's father was cold and unavailable. He was these things very righteously, because he was out there doing "good work," and "needed a break" when he was home. So my grandmother did pretty much all of the parenting of nine children. My own father was basically unavailable too. He worked 2 jobs, and when he was home my mother did her best to keep us from being children around him (from being loud, boisterous, etc...) The way she puts it is that we were "on stage" when he was home. My father became the best bread-winner he could possibly be. He built a business, which he tried to hand to me essentially. (He didn't even consider handing it to my sisters because they were girls and he is, at his core, extremely sexist.) This business was what my father put all of his energy into and I rejected it. I rejected it partly because I had other things I wanted to do with my life, but partially, I understand now, because it was his. Of course every time I have an argument with my dad I see myself in him. He never took the time or energy to work out his stuff with his father. I'm trying not to make that mistake. It is difficult, especially now when his stroke has removed his ability to fake it and all of the ugly stuff he's held in all of these years is coming out. But I am also grateful for that because it helps me see all of the ugliness in me. Because it's the same ugliness. Maybe in different forms but still the same ugliness. (We've all got it.) Maybe now, in his 60's and 70's, he'll finally deal with it, or maybe not. I'm grateful that I started the process in my 30's at least. I guess that must be progress... Tuesday, August 30th 2011 |
04/29/2023 | Last Thoughts on Covid | ||
03/14/2023 | March 2023 | |||
03/14/2023 | BLM, Covid, ALM | |||
02/8/2023 | Fitting In | |||
12/4/2022 | Addiction | |||
11/4/2022 | Small Talk | |||
10/3/2022 | Every Bullet | |||
10/3/2022 | Order and Chaos | |||
07/20/2022 | Childbirth | |||
06/6/2022 | Breakup Songs | |||
05/26/2022 | Thoughts and Prayers | |||
05/26/2022 | Pro | |||
05/26/2022 | Guns and Capitalism | |||
04/30/2022 | World Religions | |||
02/14/2022 | Spotify | |||
06/26/2021 | Civil Disobedience for Climate Justice Verses the Power of Song | |||
05/28/2021 | Art work IS work! | |||
05/24/2021 | Healthcare | |||
12/28/2020 | Inauguration Day | |||
11/6/2020 | Facebook Community Standards | |||
11/3/2020 | Masks, Red Arrows, and Entitlement | |||
07/29/2020 | Stella Immanuel | |||
05/8/2020 | Respect the Elders | |||
03/24/2020 | Buddha, Jesus, Patriarchy, President | |||
03/21/2020 | Covid 19 Virus Days | |||
09/13/2019 | 9/11 | |||
05/13/2019 | Look to the Kids | |||
07/4/2018 | Independence Day 2018 | |||
05/20/2018 | Abortion and Guns | |||
05/2/2018 | Civil Disobedience | |||
12/1/2017 | Price of Progress | |||
01/28/2017 | Prayer for America | |||
05/27/2014 | "Free" music | |||
12/30/2013 | Happy New Year | |||
09/26/2013 | Ignorant Bliss | |||
11/29/2012 | Gillen & Turk 2008 Opening for Todd Rungren | |||
08/27/2012 | Shallow Money Trench | |||
06/22/2012 | Crazy Horse | |||
05/9/2012 | Talk | |||
01/19/2012 | Freedom | |||
12/31/2011 | Happy New Year | |||
12/13/2011 | Men of Business | |||
11/19/2011 | WAR | |||
11/18/2011 | Earth And Spirit | |||
10/10/2011 | Occupy Wall Street | |||
10/6/2011 | Independence | |||
09/20/2011 | Anger and Love | |||
09/6/2011 | You Can't Have Everything | |||
09/1/2011 | The Instruments | |||
08/30/2011 | Fathers | |||
08/2/2011 | On Being An Artist | |||
05/11/2011 | Speaking The Truth | |||
04/25/2011 | Tuning the lead vocal | |||
03/17/2011 | Instilling Values | |||
01/14/2011 | The Current Music Business | |||
11/5/2010 | Even The Air | |||
10/19/2010 | Rednecks, Racism, This-ism, that-ism | |||
09/8/2010 | 9/11 | |||
07/18/2010 | Being Ecumenical | |||
07/6/2010 | Dust | |||
06/30/2010 | Gay Rights/ Marriage | |||
03/11/2010 | The heart | |||
03/11/2010 | Culture | |||
01/5/2010 | Coats | |||
12/11/2009 | Pete Seeger | |||
12/2/2009 | Environmental Protest Songs | |||
10/5/2009 | Adam & Eve | |||
06/18/2009 | The World Rolls Along | |||
06/11/2009 | Clearwater | |||
06/10/2009 | The World Rolls Along | |||
06/10/2009 | War Machine | |||
06/9/2009 | alternative media | |||
06/9/2009 | alternative media | |||
05/14/2008 | God | |||
02/24/2008 | broke | |||
02/11/2008 | HOPE MACHINE | |||
01/6/2008 | Dennis Kucinich | |||
12/27/2007 | NYPD | |||
10/4/2007 | Mitakuye Oyasin | |||
05/21/2007 | The Past | |||
04/15/2007 | Kurt Vonnegut, Indian Point | |||
10/8/2006 | God | |||
06/26/2006 | From the Pe Sla -the heart of the heart of Lakota sacred land -the Black Hills of South Dakota | |||
06/5/2006 | Mowing The Lawn | |||
03/24/2006 | Gone Gone Gone | |||
02/25/2006 | grace | |||
09/26/2005 | Sky To Mountain | |||
09/22/2005 | Love | |||
09/14/2005 | Look Down | |||
04/19/2005 | April 2005 | |||
01/27/2005 | Poverty | |||
01/11/2005 | Grace | |||
12/3/2004 | Standing Up 2 | |||
12/1/2004 | Tired | |||
11/29/2004 | Standing Up | |||
11/29/2004 | Mercy | |||
09/18/2004 | Beaten | |||
08/7/2004 | Half Full | |||
07/16/2004 | Hallelujia! | |||
07/16/2004 | Battered Feathers | |||
03/14/2004 | gifts | |||
03/1/2004 | Ancestors | |||
03/1/2004 | A Prayer | |||
12/24/2003 | "The Bomb" | |||
05/16/2003 | Safe | |||
05/16/2003 | Satan | |||
05/5/2003 | Faith, Hope, Love | |||
03/10/2003 | Tatoo | |||
02/11/2003 | Folk Music is alive and well! | |||
01/13/2003 | Revolution | |||
01/2/2003 | January 2003 | |||
11/17/2002 | FEAR | |||
11/9/2002 | Election Day | |||
10/30/2002 | Election Day | |||
10/14/2002 | Checkpoint Charlie | |||
06/17/2002 | Revolution | |||
06/3/2002 | Gold | |||
06/3/2002 | WAGE LOVE! | |||
06/3/2002 | Mercy | |||
06/3/2002 | New World Order? | |||
04/4/2002 | Real? | |||
04/4/2002 | Billboards | |||
04/4/2002 | Faith | |||
03/22/2002 | Living into the 21st century | |||
03/22/2002 | Comfort | |||
03/22/2002 | Barren Ground | |||
03/22/2002 | Dreams | |||
03/14/2002 | March 11, 2002 | |||
02/25/2002 | Germany | |||
12/14/2001 | NOW | |||
09/19/2001 | September 11, 2001 | |||
08/6/2001 | #5 Taking Responsibility | |||
07/12/2001 | Television | |||
06/11/2001 | #3: Sprawl | |||
05/16/2001 | #2 | |||
05/16/2001 | #1 | |||